Trump Orders Death to Robocallers

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Monday, 8 July 2019

The White House. Donald Trump, answering an unwanted call that allegedly came from NBC, announced that his "Big Idea" for the 2020 campaign would be an abrupt and, in some cases, brutal end to unsolicited robocalls and other telemarketing intrusions.

"I just had 5 robocalls on my unlisted cell phone on an Independence Weekend Sunday. Callers wanting me to use solar power instead of good, clean coal. Or offering me a low interest credit card when I never use one. Worse yet, most of the callers sounded like they were residents of Muddled Eastern countries, probably Isis sympathizers.

"I told them that if they were in the U. S., they should take one of the genuine jobs I create every month. But if they continued to make robocalls instead, I'm going to order their execution by executive order. We'll set up electric chairs in full view of the public on the national mall. Now, that's my big idea for 2020."

A poll taken shortly after his announcement, found 99 percent of respondents in support of his Big Idea. His re-election seems assured.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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