Alabama’s Abortion Law And The Male Castration Footnote

Written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 16 May 2019

image for Alabama’s Abortion Law And The Male Castration Footnote
"No way!"

Alabama’s abortion law has a footnote few men have noticed: Any male who is responsible for pregnancy either by rape or incest or unwanted artificial insemination will be subject to immediate castration.

“Ouch,” said the perpetrators of the governor-signed Alabama Abortion law. “That is a mean, vindictive, small-minded action that will never become law or a footnote to anything! We believe in the bible and that makes life a sacred gift from God no matter how it is produced.”

Those responsible for the added footnote remarked, in return, that it could only be described as small-minded according to the individual’s deliverance of that life-producing object which will be snipped off.

“Enough of that left wing, brave green world, lying liberal, socialist, turbine-powered, plastic-hating, vegan-loving, phony save-the-world, kale-eating, AOC-supporting witch-hunting, organic food consuming, Tesla-driving, coal-hating, carbon footprint-watching, arugula salads, Whole Food-loving, fake news spies.

“Alabama people are for life and supporting life, and defending life and not cutting out the spigot because of some itsy-bitsy tiny mistake.”

The writers of the footnote asked: If you are so pro-life, why are you so quick to start wars and send men and women and treasure all the way to the other side of the world, to kill men and women and children by the thousands? Aren’t the lives of those people even more sacred and valuable than that of an ectopic pregnancy?

“No more and enough of that left wing, brave green world, lying liberal, socialist, turbine-powered, plastic-hating, vegan-loving, phony save-the-world, kale-eating, AOC-supporting witch-hunting, organic food consuming, Tesla-driving, coal-hating, carbon footprint-watching, arugula-consuming, Whole Food-loving, fake news spies.

“We're in the business of saving lives because we have Christian values and god on our side. The bible says…”

The footnote writers replied: The bible is a book written by old men who demeaned women and thought that the world was flat. The world is not flat. A woman’s body is her own property. If you are against abortion, that is your choice. Don’t interfere with any woman’s right to her private property and her choice.

The castration footnote equals Alabama's newly signed abortion law.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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