It's not quite camping, and it's certainly not glamping, but for those seeking to rough it up a bit on a weekend getaway, Motel Stix, at its not-so-scenic, out-of-the-way location in Modesto, California, is offering "tramping" vacation packages, with popular options including a trashy motel room with a broken air conditioner unit, a screen door that won't quite close, and plenty of boxed red wine.
"It's all about branding." said Motel Stix proprietor Judd Mason. "We realized that within our market sector, we have a unique experience we can offer people."
According to Mason, Motel Stix's new tramping vacation concept was inspired by the enormous popularity of glamping, which involves an outdoor stay in the most luxurious, glamorous of conditions and has proven a huge moneymaker for many high-end California hotels.
"The thing about glamping, though," said Mason, "is you're expected to behave. Where's the fun in that?"
By contrast, good behavior is not a prerequisite for tramping; in fact, it's highly discouraged. For that reason, Mason believes that tramping presents a far more alluring option for most people.
"Folks love living in the gutter and getting back to all those trashy, trampy behaviors they pretend they don't do anymore now that they're honorable citizens," said Mason. "We tell 'em screw that. Smoke some cigarettes, do some blow, roll around naked on a dirty carpet with a low-budget 'ho, come away with a hangover that makes you want to shoot your firstborn child. Regular, responsible life isn't going anywhere. In the meantime, have some fun already!"
Mason predicts that tramping will be the next hit trend in outdoorsyish adventures - and, based on the high profiles of some of Motel Stix's previous trampimg customers, he just might be right. Previous tramping patrons include a Catholic bishop and even a former U.S. president, first name "Bill."
Intrigued by the prospect of tramping it up on your next vacay? Check out the various packages at Motel Stix to find the one that best suits your needs. While escort services are not included in most tramping packages, a list of locals willing to perform oral sex for under ten dollars is provided free of charge.
"Rooms are smoking only," said Mason. "Plenty of ashtrays. Please don't break 'em."