Written by Wesley Janson

Saturday, 26 January 2019

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The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for Two Lonely Souls Meet Through Dating Site

La Crosse, Wisconsin. Ryan Kepp, 25, was finally able to meet Rebecca Steiner, 27, through a popular dating site known as Perfect Companions last Thursday.

Ryan, an offensive, impatient, self-absorbed, violent, card-playing, sports-obsessed, small-minded, beer-guzzling, tobacco-chewing, egotistical, loud-mouthed asshole, was really happy that he finally met Rebecca, a nosy, obnoxious, greedy, slanderous, gossiping, two-faced, manipulative, bossy, narcissistic, vodka-consuming, meth-using, pathological nymphomaniac.

After enjoying a gourmet dinner at a nearby Hardee's, and having far too many drinks at a bar just down the street, they both went back to Rebecca's apartment, and fucked each other's brains out on the bathroom floor.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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