Trump: Rookie Artist Paints Himself into a Wall

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 24 January 2019

image for Trump: Rookie Artist Paints Himself into a Wall
The meeting of two great would-be painters

As the government shutdown enters its second month, President Donald Trump has a new hobby: painting. Observers are not exactly sure what kind of painting he's into, however, or what kind of material he paints with. Whatever he uses, he usually gets more of it on himself than on his target.

For example, as a House painter he's failed miserably. When he took on Nancy Pelosi's House, he tried to smear her with his bristle brush when she denied him entry into her House for the State of the Union. In the end, she shellacked him.

Trump also wants to try murals, but for that he needs a wall. He doesn't have one, so he asked the Democrats for $5.7 billion to build it. Sen. Chuck Schumer told him to paint the damn mural on one of Trump's own Towers.

We haven't seen the mural's prototype yet, but we suggest that it have a Great Depression theme, with hungry, unemployed government workers rioting in front of the White House. But Trump, we hear, wants his portrait to appear every few feet along the 2000 mile wall.

Schumer and Pelosi say the government shutdown must end before they'll even consider Trump's wall, which they really think is superfluous. To pacify him, they indicated they might support a fence of steel slats, but Trump initially opposed that because he couldn't paint his mural on an open fence. His critics claim that the openings will be more attractive than what he paints.

It now appears that Trump has painted himself into a wall from which he can't escape without surrender. Rumor has it that he realizes his wall mural was a big mistake and he now wants to walk back to an off-ramp, where he will paint "Do Not Enter."

One thing's for sure. This anti-environmentalist won't be painting the White House green!

Or, as Woof Blister at CNN noted: "Adolf Hitler was a would-be artist, too."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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