"May Isis Lop Off Your Head." Don't Tell Telemarketers That

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 27 December 2018

Pinhole, California. A local man was arrested yesterday for an intemperate, but warranted, response to repeated calls from a credit card telemarketer. Having pressed "9" numerous times on earlier calls, and having received automated assurances that "You will not be called again", the senior citizen became especially exasperated when the same company called a second time within an hour.

At that point, the elderly recipient of the call lost his cool and shouted into the phone, "MAY ISIS LOP OFF YOUR HEAD!", and promptly hung up. Apparently, his phone number remained on the telemarketer's screen, and the call was "recorded for training purposes." The telemarketer contacted the FBI, which filed a charge of domestic terrorism against the old man.

If convicted, the octogenarian faces up to 25 years in prison. Refusing to post bail while awaiting trial, he welcomed his stay in the Pinhole jail cell. "At least I won't receive any robocalls here."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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