Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 19 December 2018

Charging that same-sex marriage violates God's law, is contrary to the laws of nature, and attacks the moral values on which this country was founded, Roy Moore, now an Alabama county clerk, has refused to issue a marriage license to two elderly women. Both in their eighties, they want the legal benefits enjoyed by married couples and have sued Moore to force him to issue the license.

"You'd think we were Satan's nuns, instead of good Catholics," said one of the women. "As we near the end of life, we want the right to make hospital decisions for each other, but can't if we aren't related." Both lost their husbands of nearly fifty years a decade ago, and have lived together since then.

The case is expected to reach the Supreme Court by June, with a decision in mid-summer. Since social conservative Brett Kavanaugh has replaced the more liberal Anthony Kennedy on the high court, the justices apparently stand 5-4 against same-sex marriage.

In 2015, with Kennedy writing the majority opinion in a 5-4 decision, the court ruled that states could not deny same-sex marriage because that would violate the 14th amendment's due process and equal protection clauses.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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