Santa Claus Charges Writers of “Santa Baby” with Sexual Harrasment, Bullying

Written by Jaki Treehorn

Wednesday, 5 December 2018

image for Santa Claus Charges Writers of “Santa Baby” with Sexual Harrasment, Bullying

North Pole - Santa Claus, speaking to reporters yesterday outside his Arctic office, leveled charges of sexual harassment and bullying at the songwriting team of Javits and Springer, and singer Eartha Kitt, for their 50’s holiday hit “Santa Baby”.

This followed revelations that some radio stations would no longer play “Baby it’s Cold Outside” and “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” for similar issues contained in their lyrics.

“I think we all know what “hurry down my chimney tonight” and “come and trim my Christmas tree” mean, it’s very offensive” said Mr. Claus. “I never liked that song, we are demanding it be pulled of the air immediately”.

Claus also complained that, over the years since the song was played, numerous women had demanded he provide expensive jewelry, automobiles and even deeds to real estate because of the song.

Mr. Claus retained famed attorney Gloria Allred to represent him in a possible legal action. Updates are available at #SantaMeToo

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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