Trump Bans Transnationalists from Public Restrooms

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 31 October 2018

In a sweeping, unexpected move Wednesday, President Donald Trump signed an executive order banning all transnationalists from public restrooms in the United States, its territories, and on all ships flying the American flag.

"We are in a culture war for the very survival of Western Civilization. Our values are under attack as never before, and those transnationalists who would destroy American institutions and replace them with ones that are foreign and unAmerican must be fought at every level. Transnationalists spread their scurrilous, immoral venom at every opportunity, wherever they can... in the classroom, on municipal transit, even in a public restroom. Do you really want your kids using a park restroom where they will be accosted by a transnationalist who's spewing his/her/its insidious and corrupting filth?"

When asked if his statement implied that he would soon ban transnationals from public transit and the American schoolhouse, Trump answered: "Let's see what happens."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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