Nuclear Football Carried With A Fire Extinguisher

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 24 October 2018

image for Nuclear Football Carried With A Fire Extinguisher
"That extinguisher was just too small."

Since Donald Trump became a White House resident, several members of the media noticed that the officer who carries the nuclear football, a briefcase containing the Nuclear Launch Codes, in one hand, always brings a fire extinguisher in the other one.

The nuclear football, which could initiate thermal nuclear war and the end of the world as we know it, is regarded as an acceptable part of the presidency. However, the fire extinguisher presented a problem of sorts.

Asked about the presence of a fire extinguisher, Chief of Staff, General John H. Kelly, head-bumped the reporter and had the Secret Service remove him from the White House.

The recent F-bomb shout-out in front of the Oval Office between General John Kelly and National Security Advisor John Bolton was suggested to have been a discussion about Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen White Bread’s poor job performance. Instead, it was about questions concerning the fire extinguisher.

Seems White House Counselor Kellyanne Conway bought into the adage: Liar, liar, your pants are on fire, and knowing Trump's propensity for continuous lying: about the time of day, his weight, hair color, murder in the Istanbul consulate, tax returns, lying Ted, beautiful Ted, my crowd's bigger, etc…

Kellyanne, the winner, at age 16, of the New Jersey Blueberry Princess pageant, decided to take action, and, as a precaution, had the Secret Service purchase a fire extinguisher at ACE Hardware. It would be carried by the same guy who brings the nuclear football.

So when Corey Lewandowski, Trump pal, White House hanger-on, no title and person General Kelly has been trying to Omarosa out of the building, heard about the fire extinguisher rumor, Lewandowski approached General Kelly: Was it purchased by the Secret Service at an ACE Hardware for extinguishing Trump’s pants every time Trump told a lie?

Of course, short fuse Kelly went ballistic. “That’s a National Security issue and not to be broadcasted about, you blooming F-bomb idiot. And no-one has worn a crew cut in the White House since John Haldeman.”

To be continued...

ACE Hardware denies any association with this article.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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