Town Not Strong Enough to Recover From Tragedy

Funny story written by Dave Henry

Saturday, 9 June 2018

image for Town Not Strong Enough to Recover From Tragedy
This town has just given up

Despite trying really hard, the town of Wilsonville, North Dakota, just couldn’t come together after a horrible tragedy befell the community.

“This is just too much to come back from,” said town mayor Steven Sanders. “People have just thrown in the towel and given up.”

Initially, they had printed thousands of tee-shirts and hats that said “Wilsonville Strong,” but no one bought them after the townsfolk realized that they weren’t strong enough to overcome this tragedy.

They wound up donating the tee-shirts and hats to needy children in Africa.

Since the tragedy, there’s been widespread drinking and drug use to numb the pain caused by this awful situation. Many people have stopped going to work and fallen into debt. Most of the stores on Main Street have closed because no one has any money to buy things.

The religious leaders have tried to ease people’s minds that this is all part of God’s plan and that with faith, the town will get through this. But the townspeople aren’t buying it.

“If this is God’s plan, it’s a really bad plan,” said one resident.

The teachers are so grief stricken that they don’t have the emotional energy to teach the kids and the children have gone wild through the streets, looting and causing property damage.

“I’m just not a good enough leader to inspire people to come together,” said the mayor. “I’ve really tried to strike the right tone and inspire people to be better, but I’ve failed miserably. People just tune me out.”

The police have tried to keep the peace, but it’s been too overwhelming as the townsfolk have been at each other’s throats.

“There’s been a lot of blame tossed around,” said the mayor. One faction of people in town are blaming the other faction for the tragedy. The other faction thinks this is grossly unfair, so they are fighting back. People have rumbled in the town square, while others are setting houses on fire with torches.

“It’s really a shame. Every other community in the world comes together after a tragedy, but for some reason, we couldn’t do it. We are “Wilsonville Weak.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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