World's First Cat Mohel Opens For Business

Friday, 18 May 2018

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New York is often called the city that never sleeps. Well it's safe to say that cat owners will be sleeping a bit easier these days knowing that they can have their cat circumcised at what is believed to be the world's first cat mohel.

Jeff Fourstein is a practising Jew and cat owner who has often wondered whether his cats will get to heaven. Then he remembers that Jews don't believe in heaven, but he still worries about if his cats are good religious followers.

"Oy vey," he says, "I have two cats - Abraham and Streisand. I think they're good Jewish cats. I don't feed them fish or pork, although it is hard to find good kosher cat food. Also they respect the sabbath - well they don't work anyway. They keep trying to eat each other's yarmulkes but apart from that I think they're doing Judaism pretty well for cats."

Fourstein first discussed whether he should have his cats circumcised with his rabbi, who suggested he could try carrying out the procedure himself. At his local temple, he found many other cat owners who were keen to have their pets follow the faith.

He opened his cat mohel business after receiving hundreds of enquiries. However he has also come under criticism from animal rights groups.

He said, "I hear that all the time. They say I can't mutilate a pet to instill religious beliefs because it doesn't understand. But in that way a pet is no different from a baby, and people don't have a problem with cutting them."

"They're probably just anti-semitic. But my customers love it. Next week, I'm doing a bar mitzvah for a labrador."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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