Looser Guccifer 2.0 reveals new DNC plans for upcoming midterm elections

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Friday, 27 April 2018

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Looser Guccifer 2.0 has emerged once again

Hacker Looser Guccifer 2.0, who two years ago revealed the extent of Mr. Trump’s collusion with Russia, has once again released an intelligence bulletin from inside the DNC.


In 2016, Looser Guccifer 2.0 indicated Mr. Trump’s intentions for the presidency were entirely related to opening a chain of casinos and hotels in Crimea at Sebastopol.

Amusement parks were also being considered, with competing stallions on the carousels.

Looser Guccifer 2.0 maintained that Trump was not interested in the presidency--except to advance his business interests.

Also, Mr. Putin was eager.

The two had grasped hands and clapped each other on the back, smiling.

Additionally, a plan for global tourism, including cruises on The Black Sea and underwater excursions (with pole dancers and casinos located underwater) was part of it.

Trump Enterprises would be given a boost. Ukraine would be next.

Looser Guccifer 2.0 is possibly a brother to Guccifer 2.0 himself, although in 2016 reporters suggested these gentlemen were fake hackers and inventions from the DNC itself.

Breaking now:

Looser Guccifer 2.0 is currently whistle-blowing new information.

The DNC is already planning a follow-up lawsuit, in case the current one is thrown out of court.

If Mr. Trump’s political fortunes rise (think peace in Korea), and if the midterm “blue wave” turns toward “a gray confusing drizzle,” DNC politicians have a ready answer.

Once again Mr. Putin and the Russians, along with Mr. Trump, will be accused of conniving to steal the upcoming elections.

Once again they will have been working the bots in social media, encouraging dissent with Democratic Policies.

Mr. Mueller’s investigation will be re-tooled to investigate anyone who mentions Julian Assange favorably or has smiled in his direction.

Looser Guccifer 2.0 added:

“Look for more reports on secret visits by Mr. Putin to the US to meet Trump.”

“Think of it! Trump and Putin—chuckling in The White House basement!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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