Forget the Oscar parties. Oscar parties are yesterday. Impeachment celebrations are set to start, with catering companies taking orders from upscale delivery services by Caviar to Subway Sandwiches. While champagne will flow across the country like a sweeping tsunami wave, the Bellini cocktail will be the drink of choice. Peaches, don't you know?
However, dates are on hold until Special Counsel Mueller finally lowers the boom. Or the bang.
Citizens: Start your engines.
Everyone suspected something was amiss on election night way back in the year 2016 when Hillary Clinton was incredibly behind in the Electoral count. There was no way that a self-confessed, pussy grabbing, trice married, Ralph Kramden, with a plastic comb-over, five deferments, and countless business failures could ever be legitimately elected president of the United States.
Similar to Pearl Harbor and 9/11, the fake election was an act of war; not perpetrated by the Japanese or a rag-tag terrorist organization, but by Putin and friends. Some of Putin’s friends turned out to be pals and relatives of Kramden.
Digging like Digger O’Dell, Mueller and his team dug into the election, (before and after) sorted out the bodies, proved it wasn't a witch hunt, but an attempt by a group of people to take over the United States of America, for profit.
Most recently: So what, to the innocents who were killed by gunfire in Florida. “The NRA pays for our election campaigns, and we pay back.”
So Qatar refuses to bankroll the kid's place at 666 Fifth Avenue? The kid institutes a blockade of Qatar.
Did anyone in Kramden’s White House even know that Qatar housed a U.S. Air Force base, the British Royal Air Force base, the Gulf War Coalition personnel and its assets?
How did Hope Hicks miss that information? Ralph Lauren will have to expand his curriculum.
With fireworks set to go off from Times Square to the Golden Gate, Hawaii will have a sunrise ceremony commemorating the new and legitimate beginning of the 45th presidency of the United States.
One can already savor the taste of making the country right.