Written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw

Saturday, 24 February 2018

image for NRA Demands Funding Cuts to Mental Hospitals
I demand my second amendment rights!

In a televised appearance Friday morning, NRA spokestwit Dick Shuter demanded that the U.S. federal and state governments immediately stop funding psychiatric facilities across the country, and also stop supplying mental patients with free anti-psychotic drugs.

"Wing-nut conspiracy theorists and other crazies deserve the same rights as any other Bible-thumpin' American citizen. The state has no right to separate them from their families, their homes, and their private arsenals and ammunition caches."

"Besides, unmedicated schizophrenics and manic depressives are a demographic highly valued by America's firearms industry. The state shouldn't be buying 'feel-good' pills for these people. That money would be far better spent on subsidized vouchers for gun and ammunition purchases. In fact, we could kill two birds with one shot-shell if we subsidized purchases of Remington weapons. There's a venerable American firm that's just too big to fail."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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