Beantown, U. S. A. In an obvious parody of a long-running radio commercial for a private, religious-oriented university, Oliveti Navy Bean Inc., the nation's largest distributor of that specialty product, released a new radio commercial today, voiced by Charles Osgood. The text:
[Children singing] Bean, Bean, the musical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot!
[Osgood] This is Charles Osgood.
At Oliveti Navy Bean, we believe that a bean unlocks a person's potential.
We believe a bean has a positive impact on those around you.
We believe the effect of a bean is not to be contained, but should be shared with an entire community.
We believe that a bean belongs in you.
A bean: what you are, what you will be.
Oliveti Navy Bean.
