Professor Henry Higgins Takes Donald Trump In Hand

Written by Philip J. Moss

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

"Now, Donald, I have prepared a few simple exercises for you [handing him a printed card]. Start at the top, and read all the way through."

"I condemn the racists and neo-nazis and white supremacists who . . . Listen, I know that the fake media want to distort everything I say . . ."

"No, no, no! That is unacceptable. You absolutely must stay on message. Start over from the beginning."

". . . I know that some of them are good people, but the ones that are writing for the failing New York Times and CNN, they are bad people, very bad people, and . . ."

"STOP! Donald, if you read from the card correctly, without deviation, you shall have a chocolate. Now, let us try again."

". . . very bad people, although some of them have families just like the rest of us, but you know that crooked Hillary is behind these fake news reports and I am going to instruct Sheriff Arpaio . . . "

"Really, this is no progress at all. Perhaps we should start with something simpler. Now, repeat after me. 'The rain in Spain . . .'"

". . . right after I pardon him, and incidentally, I'm going to appoint him the head of Homeland Security, because he's really good people, no matter what the federal court says . . ."
"ALL RIGHT!. I concede defeat. Go back to selling flowers in the gutter."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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