Written by Gringo Lobos

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

image for Class action against the Whitehouse™ filed as thousands of children blinded watching the eclipse, after followng Presidential example and looking at it without safety glasses
His most beloved eminence claims to have been the first person to discover the Eclipse - Look everyone the sun is going dark

After the sterling example of Presidential leadership by doing what everyone had been saying not to do for weeks, thousands of children have looked at the eclipse and gone blind.

Parents are outraged that despite the good educational work of scientists about using safety glasses the Whitehouse™ choose to ignore this advice to the peril of thousands of children who now face a life of darkness.

Inevitably there were many lawyers amongst the shocked parents and a class action suing the Whitehouse™ has been filed. At this stage there are about 34,654 children reported with complete or partial blindness and their parents have signed up to sue for gross incompetence. Whats worse hundreds have since died in accidents on account of being blinded.

Some parents were obviously shocked and were making remarks like "this is the idiot running our country, he can't even watch an eclipse without killing Americans!". Others were saying "first he nuked Guam and now he is morally and physically blinding the next generation, where will it end."

But it a twist of fate it appears the only people stupid enough to follow his example were his ardent Neo-Nazi followers. It seems that nearly 99% of the children effected were of Neo-Nazi or Confederate parentage. For statistical ease they have been banded together as one group.

Sociologists are now mooting that this retina blindness was caused by moral blindness which lead them to follow his stupid example in the first place. This now makes them double blind and scientists not wanting to appear like a bunch of old irrelevant Krusties and miss a good pun, have declared they will use this for a traditional placebo/double blind clinical trials.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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