New Laws Have A Point (that will be pressed into your stomach)

Written by Backandtotheleft

Sunday, 16 July 2017

In an attempt to combat the relentless stream of mass shootings the God fearing state of Texas has decided that, from September, it will be perfectly legal to carry swords and knives openly on the street. We at Back and to the Left news hope that in time halberds, pikes and maces will also be allowed.

Many Europeans and people with a functioning IQ believe allowing the carrying of weapons to be a bit "fucking stupid" as Americans have already proved they can't be trusted not to open fire with a sub machine gun at a school. But some Texans disagree. They are adamant it will make their streets, cinemas and university campuses safer. To be honest with the death tolls already in the 100s in these places they probably couldn't be any less safe.

John Leghorn, 34, from Texas said:

"It's important for Texans to carry swords and other blades openly on the streets. With the amount of shootings and violent gun crime a man can really look to be a hero in these dire times. Hopefully if a attack happens a man armed with a knife could sneak up on the attacker and quickly cut his throat before he's able to do any damage. It's a brilliant idea and I believe the rest of the country will follow suit"

In glee at the law being passed several Texans opened fire wildly in the streets and three people were killed. Actually we've got no idea if they were celebrating or just being Americans

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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