FBI: Chris Christie Established Back Channel to KFC Early in Trump Campaign

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Saturday, 27 May 2017

image for FBI: Chris Christie Established Back Channel to KFC Early in Trump Campaign
Govorner Christie denies any existence of a back channel with KFC while eating food from one of their competitors.

A bombshell report by the New York Times details an FBI investigation into Chris Christie's contacts with KFC as early as March 2016 when he advised then presidential candidate Donald Trump.

First son in-law Jared Kushner is also a target in the "chickengate" investigation because of his roles as a former campaign and now presidential advisor.

President Trump, who has publicly touted his love for KFC, tweeted out a denial of any kind of conspiracy.

"No collusion, it's all fake news. Where were the investigations when Bill Clinton would go jogging just to sneak out to Popeye's?"

It is not illegal to have contacts with businesses like KFC during an election campaign, and it's also important to state that the beloved chicken franchise has not been accused of any wrongdoing in the widening scandal. Yet the question remains for the Trump administration as to why Kushner, Christie, and other top yes men failed to report those contacts as required when they applied for a security clearance.

Secretary of Energy Rex Tillerson is also under scrutiny after announcing a deal to allow Chinese energy giant SchenTech Industrial to drill for oil on Chris Christie's face.

So was drilling Christie for oil always part of the plan, or is it Trump's retribution against Christie for being the first to get caught lying about KFC?

Republicans and Democrats offered up the usual partisan platitudes regarding the newest constitutional crisis: Democrats were clamoring for impeachment hearings while Republicans avoided the issue by talking about Nancy Pelosi's face.

Former house Speaker John Boehner (R-cryin') declared the Trump presidency a disaster.

"They've tainted everything with chicken grease, and it's presented a problem for the White House archivists, the grease will make their job that much harder."

Kushner and KFC have both offered to talk to the FDA and any investigative committees. Christie, though, has so far refused to say if he will cooperate with authorities, fueling speculation that he may be seeking immunity or a free heart by-pass operation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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