Trump Tower, NY First Lady Melania Trump today announced, through her English translators, that she would personally take weekend trips to the White House and crate up furniture and antiques to sell on EBay and give to poor middle-class citizens.
Melania will keep doing this until she receives an apology from actress Alyssa Milano, who complained that Melania wore lots of flashy and expensive jewelry in her First Lady portrait, that could be sold to feed poor people.
"So if any Americans hear about some artifact they really like being sold on EBay, you can blame Ms. Milano. Let's see that bitch sell her L.A. Mansion and give the money to the poor!" said Melania through a translator.