New Drug to Help Sufferers of Movie Quote Dementia Introduced by Pfizer

Written by Jaki Treehorn

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

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San Diego - Drug company Pfizer has announced that clinical studies have completed and their new drug Cinestop, designed to treat sufferers of Cinementia, has been approved by the FDA and will be available soon.

Cinementia is a debilitating form of Dementia in which the afflicted can only respond to attempts at normal conversation by quoting lines from movies which they have, in many instances, seen dozens if not hundreds of times.

The movies that seem to trigger the onset of the disease include The Big Lebowski, The Princess Bride, Star Wars, Monty Python's Holy Grail and Office Space, among others.

It afflicts most often men, but also occasionally women who seem to be affected primarily by the movies Mean Girls, Pretty Woman and Sixteen Candles.

It starts as enjoyment of a particular film, followed by multiple viewings and occasional quotes, but after years of increased viewing the patient can no longer participate in conversations without each idea or thought pertinent to the discussion being expressed as a quote from a movie.

Said the wife of one sufferer present at the announcement at Pfizer headquarters, "we had hoped for a cure for years, my kids and I already know every line from the Big Lebowski and we haven't ever seen the movie. "We look forward to having a normal conversation with Dad", said the daughter also present.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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