Written by Jaggedone

Thursday, 2 February 2017

image for Bacon Butties in the US more expensive than caviar!
Peru, hoping for Trump sympathy have offered their fav meat dish to the US instead of piggy Bacon Butties, Guinea Piggy ones

The American love affair with bacon has caused a major crisis in the piggy industry because there aint enough piggies to be slaughtered to keep up with demand!

Bacon Butties smothered with Daddies Sauce, a specialized product exported from the UK to the US in early times as Brit soldiers fought against their US brethren in the War of Independence has become so popular that even McDonalds knocks out millions of Butties instead of their plastic burgers for breakfast!

It seems piggy farmers just cannot keep up with demand even though Monsanto have offered their GMO version to the meat industry. A Monsanto spokesman said, "we just add a few E numbers and coloring to our GMO Pork and bobs your uncle, problem solved, and Bacon Butty punters won't notice a thing; only when they get cancer of the belly later, but who cares!"

As for the poor pigs being slaughtered in huge numbers to satisfy the massive demand, a spokesman said "Oink, Oink" before being brutally hooked up on a rapidly revolving conveyor belt!

Bacon Butties have now become so expensive, KFC, are kicking them off their fabulous menu and selling chicken nuggets dipped in caviar instead because it's cheaper. However, Butty fans are in uproar and many are contemplating flying to the UK for breakfast because farming piggies is no problem for the next 2 years because Dutch piggies are still welcome! But after Brexit, US Bacon Butty lovers will have to fly to Mexico to satisfy their demands and Mexican Bacon Butty makers are just waiting for millions of new US customers to arrive because when the wall is built, bacon butties instead of drug trafficking, will become the backbone of their economy; a porky backbone please!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Pig




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