Moose, the Gaseous Hero Dog from North Carolina has been picked by President-elect Donald Trump to be the new White House liaison with Congress.
According to the Washington Post, "politicians, the public and the media are all, one more time, "shocked but not surprised."
Moose and his famous and deadly gaseous emissions became famous when President Obama dispatched him to Syria to deal with a difficult President Assad. With one "silent but deadly" emission Moose literally brought Assad to his knees. He was also sent to Syria to deal with a large group of ISIS rebels. He not only destroyed their will but each one also joined the Catholic Church and became alter boys!
When the leader of the group was asked why by an inquisitive journalist, he replied: "Maybe not as good as twenty virgins...but, you know...a bird in the hand," he winked, "is worth two in the bush," he smiled, "if you catch my drift."
In related news a source within the Trump transition team has leaked word that Moose was on the outs with Trump due to a report that he had "cold nosed" the Russian Ambassador to the UN in the White House men's room. Moose's supporters have denied the rumor stating "not true." Apparently, it was Rex Tillerson, the new Secretary of State who had actually performed the "dirty Deed." When Tillerson was asked about the incident, he curtly replied...."Nyet!"
Sources have told this reporter that Moose, like other White House picks, had a dinner alone with the President-elect at an exclusive NYC restaurant. Apparently, towards the end of the dinner Moose jumped down from his chair and suddenly left the room. He was found by restaurant staff lying outside the dining room whimpering with his paws over his snout!
Breaking: Melania Trump shocked the White House staff this morning by ordering all new, extra small, door knobs for the Oval Office and the family quarters. She has refused additional comment.