Trump's Minority Outreach Met With Deafening Silence

Written by W.P. Wonder

Tuesday, 11 October 2016

image for Trump's Minority Outreach Met With Deafening Silence
Shut up, you loozuh!

Faced with faltering poll numbers, Donald Trump and his advisors are taking a shot at tapping the African American vote, which normally goes Democratic 9 to 1.

His recent outreach, however, might be doing more harm than good.

Trying to piggyback on the name of a civil rights movement that has gotten a lot of media coverage these past few years, the Trump Campaign has launched the slogan "Black Asses Matter."

Said Trump at a press conference, which surprisingly didn't generate one question from the attendees, "Too often in America we overlook the contributions of our African American community. Especially the women."

Bull-dozing past the palpable and awkward silence in the room, Mr. Trump continued.

"Those big, bouncy meaty meatballs of derriere delight hardly get the attention they deserve. I know too often women like my Melania, and all the women in the past who've had the pleasure of being the 'Trump's hump', exemplify the epitome of beauty, but maybe we need to dedicate a moment to give a shout out to all the sistuhs. They don't make the best 'arm candy', but they do provide the most cushion for pushin'."

Then Trump declared there would be no questions and then left the podium. The crowd of journalists readily complied.

-David Rayd

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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