Gary Johnson Fails to Remember All 151 Original Pokemon, Loses Support with 90's Kids

Funny story written by Andrewnino12

Friday, 30 September 2016

Another day, another blunder for the Johnson campaign. In a recent interview the former Governor of New Mexico was once again unable to respond to the simplest of personal questions: What was your favorite Generation 1 starter Pokemon?

"I never caught a lot of Pokemon as a kid. I always took the non-interventionist route and avoided fighting any Pokemon battles. Uhhhh... Rugrat? I think that's one of them."

This isn't the first time the Libertarian candidate has gotten tripped up by a nostalgic affairs question. Last week he struggled when being asked to name his favorite episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

"Bel-Air? I'm not familiar with that region of the Middle East. Is it near that ALPO place I keep hearing about?"

"I think he means Aleppo," his running mate William Weld corrected, "And as for me I always enjoyed the episode where Will breaks down crying over not knowing his father. It was very touching and I think it's very emblematic of the single-mother epidemic currently plaguing urban America."

"Oh yeah... what he said."

Since the incident Johnson has added several 90's pop-culture experts to his team of advisors.

"He's made a lot of progress already," 22 year old Mike Roaming explained, putting his hands in his high-waisted jeans and zipping up his neon windbreaker, "We just finished binge-watching Full House and we've already taught him to hate anything on Nickelodeon made after the year 2004."

The Libertarian hopeful confirmed his efforts to bring in young voters by sending a message out to all his AOL Instant Messenger supporters this morning reading:

"There was no excuse for my forgetfulness earlier this week but I've been taking great strides towards understanding the complex landscape of childhood-based elitism. Because of this, I'm proud to announce the Libertarian party as the official party of Grass-type Pokemon players. Sure we're not as popular as the other two starters but we're happy appealing to our dedicated fan base of plant-lovers. This campaign is just getting started and we look forward to your continued support on our road to that big white building in Washington. Its name is slipping my mind right now, I'll check with my advisors and get back to you on that."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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