The North Carolina legislature passed House bill #3 yesterday banning use of walking canes in public! As thousands of senior citizens complained of being instantly house bound,the Governor issued a statement supporting the legislation. It reads in part: "We must protect our daughters, wives, sisters, mothers and grandmothers, from perverts who wish to push their perverse agenda on a helpless society. Being politically correct is not what we do here in our beloved state."
The Associated Press reports that thousands of senior citizens have become confined to their homes and states of depression are rampant in this community as wheel chairs have been sold out and manufacturers report they have a two year back log.
AARP has announced the cancellation of its convention in Raleigh this year,Senior Citizen Centers have become ghost towns and "cane burning" protests are reported in the thousands.
BREAKING NEWS: God has just announced that he (or she) has cancelled all public events in the state and will only be available to citizens on an individual basis. "The cost to the citizens of North Carolina cannot be measured in dollars and cents" stated God.
The Raleigh News & Observer is reporting that House Bill #3 came about due to an isolated incident that occurred in a small hamlet outside of Louisburg, NC. Evidently, an elderly man with limited vision was leaving a small convenience store walking with his cane. He was walking toward his wife's car and wanting to make her laugh he stuck the cane between his legs and waved it up and down! He,In fact, was walking towards a Sherrif's Deputy in an unmarked car who immediately arrested him for solicitation much to the chagrin of his wife and the employees of the store. The case was dismissed when the judge asked the man if he was soliciting. The man, toothless, feeble and being supported by two friends replied, "Judge take a look at me...soliciting for what!?"
"Case dismissed," said the judge.
In related news a journalist from The Raleigh News & Observer stopped the Governor as he left his mansion this morning.
Journalist: "Governor, what do you have to say about the one million dollar campaign contribution that the AWA ( American Wheelchair Association) gave to your campaign just before you signed House Bill #3?"
Governor Pat McCrory's face flashed red, his lips quivered and he replied, "SAY WHAT!"