Washington DC - - The Republican Party is no longer saddled with history's least popular presidential candidate. The right-leaning politicians have replaced their presidential nominee Donald Trump with a salami sandwich.
Mantz Fembol, temporary chairman of the Republican Party, explained that with Trump's popularity waning , the party needed to change gears quickly. "Luckily we have a plank in our campaign platform that allows us to make one substitution, as long as it involves some smoked pork."
"And hard salami is quite easy to sell. It's tasty. It's nutritious. It's delicious. So we should have no problem presenting this candidate to the voting public."
The new Republican contender is no ordinary piece of meat. At its core is a quarter pound of aged Genoa. It was with the American expeditionary force on the beaches during D-day, providing a snack to the troops who won World War II.
It was with Harry Truman when he decided to unleash the Atomic bomb on Hiroshima.
And this cold cut served as an hors d'oeuvre when the Kennedys were entertaining their Hollywood girlfriends.
"Good food makes for a good historical pivot. The voters want change this election cycle. Our salami on rye will give it to them."
