GOP Promises To Spank Trump If He Abuses Nuclear Arsenal

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Sunday, 5 June 2016

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The GOP told Donald Trump he would be punished by spanking if he ever misused his access to the US's nuclear launch codes

Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan say they will resort to corporal punishment if Donald Trump should ever abuse his access to the nations nuclear codes.

"I think a good old fashioned spanking or paddling would be in order," McConnell said. "Donald Trump will know there are limits to what a president can do on his own."

Paul Ryan concurred, saying to the bloviating billionaire, "Don't make me have to take off this belt, mister."

The dust up started a week ago when the two GOP leaders told Trump to just ignore Kim Jon Un's taunts toward the US. But when the North Korean dictator insulted The Don's golf course in Ireland, Trump went ballistic and started asking about the nuclear codes.

Trump's publicist said, "I don't think Donald Trump is going to be deterred from carrying out his responsibilities by a spanking. There are things he can do: he could put a dinner plate in his pants like on Little Rascals; he could wear hockey pads under his pants. The point is he'll do something so he won't even feel a spanking."

At a political rally Trump mesmerized the adulating masses when he told them how GOP elites are playing games with the country's nuclear authorization codes.

"First they told me the Joint Chief's had the codes, I checked with Snoop Dog and Chris Brown, and they knew nothing; and then they said Paul Ryan had them, honestly do these guys even know what's going on? We can only hope they haven't already given the codes to Lyin' Ted or Crooked Hillary. OK?" The crowd booed at the mention of his rivals and the sound became a crescendo as he went on, "Because then we're in real trouble, I can tell you that."

Hillary Clinton was fierce in her criticism of Trump and the GOP, issuing this statement.

"It is inconceivable that the GOP is even considering letting Donald Trump take the reins of power, they want to hand over the most powerful office in the world to a tantrum throwing bully who doesn't understand the consequences of his actions. But don't worry folks, if he starts World War Three the Republican Party will make him sit in the corner so he understands his limits."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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