VERMONT, St. Vernon, a small town nestled in the hills of southern Vermont has been invaded by a army of extremely aggressive trolls.
The first evidence of the trolls came from farmers crossing bridges. Farmers were met by ugly little creatures with protruding tusks demanding tolls for crossing the bridge. If the farmer was herding billy goats the trolls demanded unreasonably high tariffs for use of the bridge.
The second thing that alerted the citizens to the invasion was the teenagers in the area that generally listened to heavy metal were now playing troll metal.
Trolls originate from Scandinavian folklore and have been known to abduct humans and make them slaves. Trolls are also well known for stealing crops from farmers and could steal the food right off the plates of people eating dinner.
The mayor of St. Vernon said, we think they came to our town in a shipment of Swedish meatballs a couple of months ago.
Exterminators have been called in to eradicate the pesky creatures but standard methods have proved to be ineffective. It seems no one in the modern age is specializing in troll extermination.
Troll infestation can cause a myriad of problems ranging from missing treasure to small trolls drilling cavities in children's teeth.
From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Dec. 4 2006
