BILLINGSGATE POST: Confident that he will win the Republican nomination and be elected president, Donald Trump revealed that he has already contacted Dr. Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina about joining his cabinet.
Trump said that he was so impressed by Dr. Carson during the first debate that he asked the doctor if he would consider doing a frontal lobotomy on him to save his receding hairline. Carly Fiorina, who he said was fired as CEO of Hewlett Packard for good reason, should be given another chance to work her way up. Allowing that someone has to carry his "Make America Great Again" hats around while he goes bare-headed, Trump said that she should be a natural as a hat check girl.
Although he said he was fed up to here (pointing to his chest) with the diminutive Rand Paul, he offered Senator Paul a job as White House chimney sweep if he promised to keep his weight below 125 pounds. Senator Lindsey Graham, who estimated Trump's personal wealth to be inversely proportional to his common sense, was offered the job of court jester by the eponymous head of Trump Enterprises.
Saying Jeb Bush had a lot of potential to be a worse president than his brother, Trump suggested that he might offer him a job as Caddy Master at Trump National Golf Club in Jupiter, Florida so that he could personally fire him for incompetence.
