President Obama's Missing Passport

Written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 3 August 2015

image for President Obama's Missing Passport
Not my ears.

Seems that President Obama was all set to board Air Force One when an official from the TSA Department at Andrew's Air Force Base stopped him before climbing the steps. The official wanted to check his Passport. Obama said he didn't have one. He explained that since he was President of the United States, he didn't need a Passport.

Wrong, said the TSA official, reminding him that this was a democracy, and that a con-law professor should know better, let alone the President of the United States. No wheels up for Kenya without a Passport.

Obama immediately telephone Homeland Security. The operator explained that they didn't handle Passports. Try the Secretary of Transportation. Transportation put him on hold.

The Captain on Air Force One unceremoniously began honking the plane horn, speeding along the President. The President silently reflected that he didn't realize Air Force One had a horn.

The Department of Transportation gave President Obama eight choices for directing his call, adding: "If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 911. Or, to speak to a representative directly, please hold. You are eighteenth in line.

The Captain of Air Force One got out of the cockpit and climbed half way down the planes steps, "What the hell is going on?"

The President motioned him back on the plane, saying he would be on board in a few seconds.

"Well, make it snappy."

Ten minutes later, a human voice came on the telephone and after explaining the situation to the operator, the operator replied that the Department of Transportation doesn't handle Passports, and that Passports are handled by the State Department.

The State Department issued an emergency Passport, snapped a photo of the President using one of their newly issued cameras with the super ugly lens that remove hair from one's head, replacing it on one's face, shrinking eyes, enlarging bags under eyes, deepening lines to gutters, and aging a person to resemble their image in ten years time when the Passport expires.

"My ears aren't that large," complained the President.

"Get on my plane or you're flying commercial."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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