Donald Trump Treated for Depression

Funny story written by JTamarkin

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

A day after his dog was run over by a taco deliveryman in Palm Beach, The Donald has started taking large doses of Zoloft.

Trump's dog, Niggard Lee, was flattened early Tuesday afternoon on Worth Avenue when Taco Expresso driver Jorge Cruz Limon failed to see the short fat bulldog.

"Old Niggard Lee. Poor Niggy," The Trumpster trembled. "I gave him his name because he was slow and black. Niggy was the shortest fattest slowest dog I've ever seen. And now he's even shorter and much slower."

Trump could barely contain his semi-conscious mentally unstable stream of disconnected thoughts: "At first, I thought it might have been an old Jew in a Jew canoe who ran over Niggy. Too many old Jews in Palm Beach who shouldn't be driving. Then, I was relieved to hear it was a wetback who took Niggy out. See, just more proof of Mexican crooks and scum in the U.S."

Limon, a 23-year-old Cuban-American, was delivering 500 gourmet tacos from Miami to the almost 100% Jewish Palm Beach Country Club. Trump, after learning these details, barked: "Aha, I knew the Jews were involved! As for Limon...Mexican, Cuban, spic, whatever."

Niggy's blood and guts splattered all over the Brooks Brothers storefront windows. The store manager announced that a Special Niggy Sale will be held next Saturday from 9 to 5.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more