Accused 'pervert' tells judge he was merely training 'like a therapy dog'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 11 April 2015

image for Accused 'pervert' tells judge he was merely training 'like a therapy dog'
Denies getting excited by piles of old shit

San Francisco, Ca - An alleged fetishist caught abusing loaded adult diapers has played a courtroom blinder with a 'dog's bollocks' mitigation plea.

Orvil Feckles, 69, was caught on CCTV rummaging in a seniors' nursing home trash dumpster while actively pleasuring himself.

The janitor's attorney denies his obsessive interest in feces - as well as that of his client! - and is pushing that Feckles was merely training himself 'like a therapy dog' to sniff out potential illnesses.

The court heard latest research reports citing that 9 out of 10 Chocolate Labs at a Yountville canine anus sniffing facility were able to detect signs of coprophilia 'and other sickness' after undergoing training of less than two weeks.

"Mr Feckles has always had unusually sensitive olfactory organs, Your Honor," lawyer Marvin Fang pleaded, "some of which are located in the scrotal sac region."

The case continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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