Baseball Bat Sized Vibrators Now Preferred By Most Pinch-Mouth Prudes

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 17 February 2015

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Dr. Billingsgate

BILLINGSGATE POST: With all of the mystique regarding forbidden sexual pleasure that has been generated by the movie, "50 Shades of Gray," it was only a matter of time until the ultimate WMD (Weapon of Male Dysfunction) was unveiled.

Based on the Louisville Slugger bat that the Sultan of Swat used to hit a career 712 home runs, this WMD has been programmed to keep even the most non-responsive, post menopause pinch-mouth prude delighted for the life of its battery.

Equipped with a discreet carry-on bag for travel, it is considered gauche if someone asks if you play soft ball for a living. The standard response to such a question is usually; "No, but would you like me to shove it up your ass, big boy?"

Like most instruments of pleasure, the more you use it the less likely your need for a man to satisfy your needs. In general, most psychologists who understand the needs of women, believe it is just a matter of time before a howitzer model becomes the norm.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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