NBC News Sending Brian Williams to "Man Up" Boot Camp to Get Balls

Written by dave nelson

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

image for NBC News Sending Brian Williams to "Man Up" Boot Camp to Get Balls
Brian Williams thinks he's a hero

NBC News said Tuesday it is insisting that Brian Williams attend the 'Man Up' Boot Camp and in addition has been suspended its chief anchor and managing editor immediately for six months without pay, forgoing the option of firing the embattled newsman for now due to his popularity and past work at the network.

Drill instructor and ex Navy Seal Major Moishe Pipick who runs the "Man Up" Camp said: "If Brian has even some small kernel of a nut sack we can work with him to grow some full sized testicles!"

"As I'm sure you understand, this was a very hard decision," wrote NBC News President Deborah Clitstein in a memo distributed to staff members late Tuesday. "Brian has no balls and he needs to get some which is why we are hoping Man Up Boot Camp will help him!

"Certainly there will be those who disagree. But we believe this suspension is the appropriate and proportionate action."

When Williams was asked whether he expected he could grow a pair at the boot camp, he responded:

"A man like me who has been shot down three times and captured and tortured and escaped and stepped on a land mine and then killed terrorists while saving an Iraqi orphanage from them and still made it back to NBC has plenty of balls!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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