Written by Gee Pee

Sunday, 8 February 2015

image for Hillbilly Clinton "misremembers" previous lies
Clinton admits "faulty memory of events" at times

In the wake of Bri Willyums' lies about his "adventures and misadventures in and out of combat," renewed interest has arisen with regard to former First Lady-Senator-presidential candidate-Secretary of State Hillbilly Clinton's claim that she landed in Bosnia under enemy fire a dozen years ago.

At the time, she attributed her falsehood to "misspeaking," a process unknown to both linguists and psychologists. "I'm a multi-millionaire," she bragged, "and, in the course of my official duties, whether as First Lady, Senator, presidential candidate, or Secretary of State, I spend words freely, some might even say with wild abandon."

"She was more taciturn and circumspect when we were poor," hubby Bill agreed with his wife's self-assessment.

According to Hillbilly's "misspeech," she landed in "hostile territory--and, no, I don't mean Monica's Mouth--and came under fire."

At first, she thought that the drive-by media were out to get her, but she quickly realized the impossibility of such a scenario. "The media are mostly liberal Democrats," she gushed, "and, as such, they love me, almost as much as the love Barack."

She said, at the time of her "misspeech," that she had to run with her head down to avoid sniper fire. "Have you ever tried running for your life in a pantsuit and heels? I could have broken a nail!"

Hillbilly said, in further defense of her lie, "Like anyone else who has been active in public life for many years, I get confused, have memory lapses, conflate experiences with fantasies, and invent stories as I go along. In politics, such actions are not lies; they're survival tactics. Just ask Bill or Barack."

The video of Hillbilly's arrival in Bosnia shows her walking calmly down the ramp of an Air Farce plane with her 16-year-old daughter Chelsea at her side, head up and walking at a leisurely pace.

The video, Hillbilly said, "was obviously edited." In reality, she and her daughter were running for their lives, terrified of being shot and killed at any moment.

An eight-year-old Bosnian girl presented Hillbilly with a poem. "I thought she had a gun," the former First Lady-Senator-presidential candidate-Secretary of State told paparazzi at the time of the incident.

She also landed under fire at the Democratic Convention in Dubuque, Iowa, she claimed. "I was trailing Barack in the polls, and the [Democrat] party wanted me out of the race, permanently."

Prezident Obummer said, "her constant lies is why I had to replace her with John, who is a better prevaricator than Hillbilly; he's so good, he reminds me of me."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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