to Deliver Books Intravenously

Funny story written by Adam Click

Sunday, 29 December 2013

image for to Deliver Books Intravenously
A model demonstrates Amason's new product "The Intravenous Book" delivered via their home phlebotomy kit., the world's largest internet goods purveyor, has announced plans to deliver novels and other books directly to the reader in the quickest manner possible-via intravenous Infusion. Fancy some Proust? Interested in Ivanhoe? "The Dickens", you say? That too, will be available for immediate consumption if can clear one last, daunting hurdle.

Food and Drug Administration regulations state that only trained phlebotomists can start an intravenous Infusion. phlebotomists are both scarce and expensive. hopes to get around this problem by offering a home Phlebotomy kit for use with their liquid literature.

"It's really a very simple procedure." explain Vladimir "The Impaler" Tepes, Director of Development for "All you have to do is know how to apply a tourniquet and tell the difference between a vein and an artery. After that you just hook up the IV and away you go. Mark Twain, anybody?"

The FDA is not so easily swayed however. It issued a statement in that regard and followed that up with a letter to all parties involved. In short the agency is not only concerned with the idea of people injecting themselves with literature but also with the idea that people might resort to mix their liquid diet of books with disastrous results.

"The idea that you might mix "My Dinner With Andrea" with "Great Expectations" and come away with "Great Indigestion" is frightening." according to Ms. Misty Eyce, Food and Drug Administration spokesperson. "And that's just for starters!"

For now the government and are at loggerheads and if doesn't do it some one else probably will. Says Ms. Eyce: "You could very easily have people in back alleys shooting up "Green eggs And Ham" if we don't nip this in the bud."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more