Written by queen mudder

Saturday, 2 August 2014

image for Kerry Kennedy legless - again! - at brother Bobby Jr's third time nuptials
Ratarsed Kerry so effin drunk she was doling out blowjobs for Dem Party donations

Hyannis, Mass. (Ass Mess) - Daft human frights lawyer Kerry Kennedy was under the table at six o'clock again tonight straddling a pink velour stuffed koala and a bottle of Wild Turkey.

Same as at brother Bobby Junior's previous two nuptials both hosted at family matriarch Ethel Kennedy's Hyannis Port spread.

Notwithstanding, new sister-in-law Cheryl Hines, 69, was looking utterly ravishing despite having to mentally blot out the clamor of drunken thrashing-around noises spilling out from under the top table.

Kerry humping on mandies and Jim Beam never makes for a pleasant night.

But blushing bride and Curb Your Enthusiasm actress Cheryl clearly is made of sterner stuff.

"Aw, if only Unka Teddy woz here," Kerry's drunken voice rang out, "sure knew how to throw a party even if some ho marrying into the clan."

Former Mrs Robert F Kennedy Jr, Mary, topped herself soon after the couple divorced.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more