Long Island, NY - Long Island Pest Control lifeboats were out in force this weekend when a red tide of algal bloom slimed the beach at Howard Schultz's Gracie Lane teardown bringing phytoplanktonic chaos (WTF dat? - 'Ed') to the East Hampton spread.
Marine first responders fought for hours using laser-guided cutting equipment to free Mr Schultz from a beachside deckchair covered in the hexoplasm-like gunk.
The billionaire Starbucks chain owner had just been relaxing oceanside with a little postprandial nap when the sudden algal surge struck from the deep.
According to witness reports the blooms are caused by bioluminescent dinoflagellates 'like Noctiluca scintillans' which harden to a glue-like substance within seconds of exposure to the searing sun.
This evening Mr Schultz was back home from East Hampton Emergency Room where he'd been treated for sucker-like burns.
Surgeons suspect microscopic jellyfish may also have been lurking in the invading algal bloom whose sudden flowering under the waxing Thunder - or Buck - Full Moon is something of a legend around South Fork.
The price of a Montauk frappuccino remains five bucks.