Roman Abramovich swoops on Steven Spielberg's $25m Hamptons teardown

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 23 May 2014

image for Roman Abramovich swoops on Steven Spielberg's $25m Hamptons teardown
Shale gas-powered beach hut thrown into the deal

Long Island - A bijou 3.2 acre pond-front plot at 94 Apaquogue Road has been secretly snapped up by the Russian mobster after epic haggling with its movie maker proprietor Steven Spielberg.

The Hollywood director finally cut the deal at $25 million amid reports that valuable mineral rights to the Georgica Pond property were also thrown in including a minature on-site fracking shed.

Spielberg bought the East Hampton investment two years ago after seeing it listed in Long Island Bulldozer Bait News at $20 million before proceeding to tear it down and see its value rocket by a cool five million.

This weekend Long Island realtors who wish they'd brokered the Russian deal claimed Abramovich will be building a relatively modest 12 bedroom cottage complete with all requisite holiday home add-ons.

A helicopter pad, mooring facilities and shale gas processing plant could all feature on the finished development which the oligarch is said to be building for his five oldest kids.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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