Rick Perry Likens Being an Asshole to Alcoholism (Or, Ooops! I Did it Again!)

Funny story written by Matt Birkenhauer

Friday, 13 June 2014

image for Rick Perry Likens Being an Asshole to Alcoholism (Or, Ooops! I Did it Again!)

AP--Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) compared being an asshole to alcoholism Wednesday, arguing that both can be overcome.

"Whether or not you feel compelled to be an asshole or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that," Perry explained during an appearance at the Commonwealth Club of California, according to the San Francisco Chronicle, adding, "And I should know." The Governor continued: "I may have the genetic coding that I'm inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that and to be an asshole instead."

Perry has advanced a similar argument before. In his 2008 book I'm a Proud Asshole from Texas, he wrote, "Even if an asshole is powerless over what he says once he opens his mouth, he still makes a choice to say something stupid," adding, "And, even if someone is predisposed to be an asshole, he or she still makes a choice to act or speak like an asshole to others."

Perry, who ran for president unsuccessfully in 2012, is viewed as a potential 2016 asshole. He is stepping down as governor at the end of his current term to consider a run for Asshole-in-Chief.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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