Nasty Brawl at Museum Dedication

Funny story written by Joaquin Closet

Thursday, 15 May 2014

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Bill Clinton

After opening remarks offered by ex-NYC Mayor Rudolph Giuliani at the dedication of the National 9/11 Memorial Museum at Ground Zero in Ney York city today, pointed remarks were yelled from the "leaders section" of the museum's gallery. Seemingly taking offense, Giuliani threw down his prepared notes and made a beeline to the perpetrator, former President Bill Clinton, who made no attempt to "walk back" his remarks.

Seeing Clinton being pummeled relentlessly by Giuliani, both NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio and ex-NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg ganged up on Giuliani until the latter collapsed in a heap in front of the entire audience.

Notably absent from the fray was President Barack Obama, who cooly arrived at the scene after securing mimosas for several female dedication hangers-on. "This is NOT who we are as a people," the President intoned, as he calmly walked to the podium to offer his scheduled remarks. He continued, "This is a time for America to come together, not to beat up Republicans. That time will come soon enough."

The audience rose in unison to give the President a well-deserved standing ovation. The President later said, "If I had a son, he would be just like Bill Clinton...only black...and younger." Save for a few instances of the NYC mayors giving wedgies to each other, the rest of the museum dedication went without a hitch.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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