Washington D.C. - Washington D.C. police were called to the Washington Monument yesterday after receiving 911 calls about a naked man at the base of the monument. When police arrived they observed a naked man who, in the words of one officer, was "frolicking around and around the monument."
The police restrained the man and believed they recognized him as former Vice President of the United States, Dick Cheney. The man had no obvious identification, as he was completely naked.
Witnesses said the man was hopping and jumping around singing "launch all the missiles go boom boom boom, boom boom boom, boom boom boom" to the tune of 'The Wheels On the Bus Go Round and Round.' The man also approached a bystander and said "tell me where to get a snow cone or I'll water board it out of you."
Police handcuffed the man, wrapped him in a blanket and put him in the back seat of a police car. As police were closing the door, witnesses said they heard the man yelling "I'm Cheney Wan Kenobi, don't underestimate the power of the dark side."
