Poor Children Are Better Off Going Hungry

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 15 March 2014

It's hard to imagine that conservative political ideology asserting that poor children are better off going hungry could make any sense. But actually it does. As leading Republican intellectual Rep. Paul Ryan says, "Federally funded school lunch programs offer children a full belly but an empty soul."

The reasoning behind this is that parents who rely upon public assistance don't care about their children. So, if government feeds poor, hungry children that only reinforces the parent's irresponsibility and soullessness.

Ryan points out that "irresponsible and soulless parents make terrible role models for kids so government has no choice but to attack the kids and let them go hungry and perhaps starve. This is so that their parents' immorality isn't increased by government free lunches."

"Of course severe hunger and starvation does enhance the young one's spiritual development. That's because their parents have better characters when their not dependent upon Big Brother Government," the GOP leader concluded.

So, what seems heartless at first glance is not, if one understands the moral reasoning of Rep. Ryan and the GOP. Poor children are indeed better off going hungry.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more