Osbourne Suffers Whiplash

Written by Talking Tic-Tacs

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

image for Osbourne Suffers Whiplash
Osbourne refutes suggestions of a privileged aristocratic private life.

Chancellor of the not-only-English Exchequer George Osbourne has suffered a severe bout of whiplash, courtesy of his considerably hard neck.

It is believed it ocurred when insisting that an Independent Scotland would not be allowed to use the Pound, as it is his.

The chancer Chancellor of the chequered Exchequer was showing typically hard neck symptoms of massive presumption and scurrellous fearmongering whilst laying down the law to subservient Scotland. He is believed to be on a brandy drip recovering.

In what has been tentatively described as a potentially 'interesting' moment, given that Alistair Darling is involved, the Yes and No campaigns are now running neck and hard neck.

In a speech in Edinburgh where Osbourne looked as comfortable as a horse on a swing he assumed ownership of the Pound and insisted Scotland would not be entitled to enter into a currency share of Sterling.

Pro-Independece Voter and bad speller Malky McPherson was not impressed, "Eh? That Osbourne ay, what rights he got to say that. I mean the currency's even named after ane of oor cities, what does that tell yi?!"

"George Osbourne? Your better aff wee Joan Osbourne", he continued, singing, badly, "What if God was one of us...just a strangerrrr on aaa bus...tryin to make his wayyyyy home...brulliant. What was ah saying again?"

Indeed confronting the pertinent issue raised, political observers have acknowledged Joan's lyrics as more believable than George's.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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