TUCSON, Arizona - Felicia Collycart, spokeswoman for The Ugly Hair Society of North America, has just announced the winner and two runners up in its annual ugly hair poll.
Miss Collycart, who is a hair stylist, stated that third place went to talk show host Chelsea Handler, whose hair was said to resemble something that you'd find on a yak high in the Himalayan Mountains.
Second place went to the host of The Gorgeous Gary Busey Show, Gary Busey. Many UHS of NA members wondered if Mr. Busey combs his hair with firecrackers.
But the winner by a country mile, as they say down in Oklahoma, was none other than the man with The Hairdo From Hell, Donald Trump.
One member echoed the sentiments of many when she asked how one man can have billions and billions of dollars and yet end up with a hairdo that looks like two wolverines mating.
SIDENOTE: Trump was reached at his office and asked to comment on his being crowded The Ugly Hair Society of North America's 2014 winner. He replied "I want to see the birth certificates of each and every blue-haired, Democratic member of that communist-funded organization."