Cardinal Baloney Invites AZ Legislators To St. Paddy's Parade

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Wednesday, 26 February 2014

image for Cardinal Baloney Invites AZ Legislators To St. Paddy's Parade

Cardinal Baloney of New York has invited Arizona lawmakers who passed a gay bashing bill to march in the upcoming St. Patrick's Day parade. The march along the city's Fifth Avenue is the largest parade in the Western world.

The invited lawmakers passed legislation allowing Arizona businesses to refuse services to gays if it violates their religious principles. "Sure and begorrah, heaven knows they're wonderful people who care about the Word Of The Lord," said Cardinal Baloney.

Baloney is the arbiter of who is allowed to march in the parade. Every grand marshal has to check it with him as to who gets to participate. His Grand Majesty Baloney has refused to allow Irish gays to march in the parade if they wave banners or otherwise identify themselves as "the perverted children of Satan," as the Cardinal calls them.

The Arizona legislators will be filling in parade gaps left by Mayor De Blalsio, city council members, and others opposed to discrimination against the LGBT community who are boycotting the event.

Should Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona actually sign the gay whacking bill into law - she is yet undecided- she will be named the Grand Marshall of the parade and be made an honorary member of "The Grand Order Of Bigoted Hibernians" whose current President is Fox News' Sean Hannidy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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