Dr. Strangelove Is Back

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Thursday, 13 February 2014

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Taiwan and China held their highest-level talks for more than six decades Tuesday, marking the first government-to-government contact since the pair's acrimonious split in 1949.

Wang Yu-chi of Taiwan's Mainland Affairs Council (MAC), which oversees the island's China policy, met with his mainland Chinese counterpart Zhang Zhijun, of China's Taiwan Affairs Office.

War with China over Taiwan, which is an important American ally, now seems remote. There is even discussion, behind closed doors, in American circles that there will be reunification between the two. "Just follow the money, " said one Pentagon expert.

In post-2008 business-related deals brought 2.2 million Chinese tourists to Taiwan last year alone and raised two-way trade past $100 billion per year.

But some neo-conservatives, who pushed Bush into the Iraq war, privately expressed disappointment that this would prevent the U.S. from going to war with China.

"We're now going to let down our guard," seemed to be the consensus. One, who requested anonymity, said that the U.S. was wrong to have not gone to nuclear war with the USSR during the Cuban Missile Crises.

"JFK should have nuked them. It would have been fun to see who would have survived. He should have listened to the generals who advocated a first strike," he stated.

He continued on saying that that China has hypersonic missile delivery vehicles capable of penetrating US defense systems while delivering nuclear warheads and that it has numerous nuclear submarines monitoring the coasts of the U.S.

"The Chinese want war. We've got to strike them before they hit us. Just go to web sites like 'Before It's News,' and listen to the warnings of Lou Dobbs. And read Jed Babbin on 'Why China Wants War With the United States.' I say nuke 'em before they nuke us!" he exclaimed.

Another neo-conservative who is a retired Air Force General, who requested to have his identity remain secret, stated that war is too important to be left to politicians.

"They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. And the It's time for the Pentagon to take over the government and go to war," he stated.

But before we attack china he said the U.S. should have detailed plans for post war living. The retired general talked about the famous Dr.Strangelove's plan for post-nuclear war survival, which involves living underground with a 10:1, female-to-male ratio.

"Why in hell do people make fun of Dr. Strangelove and General Buck Turgidson. They make a hell of a lot of sense to me. And if Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld could speak openly I'm sure they'd agree."

The potential truce,if not re-unification between China and Tawian indeed has sparked much interest from neo-conservatives and military hawks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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