Washington AC/DC - Described as a blow job to democracy Tuesday night's annual State of the Union circus is still big stiff -uh, stuff! - for the lame duck prez.
Weeks of backroom White House choreography have suckcessfully buried a transatlantic sex scandal that threatened to out the First Lady's Portuguese Water Dog.
"Someone posted vintage footage of Michelle 'The Head Girl' Robinson," a presidential aide commented, "in a video montage of her teenage school daze."
Also buried in a NSA hacking swoop is DNA stuff on the First Lady alleging she and Vice President Joe Biden are the actual birth parents of singer Beyoncé Knowles.
Luckily all this stuff is now deleted from the pubic domain, enabling President Obama to focus on real political kinda stuff.
Catch live coverage of Tuesday night's SOTU jamboree right here on this website.
